Have you ever tried stopping yourself from crying because it’s a “sign of weakness”? I’ve always been a very emotional and sensitive person. And I don’t mean it just in my life, I mean I even cry when other people are crying. I tend to feel people’s emotions as if they were my own. Whether it’s a movie or a person at the coffee shop, if someone’s crying I’ll most likely end up crying. Likewise, if someone’s full of joy, it fills me up. It’s the nature of being an empath, however it was always a struggle.
I always felt it was wrong to express my emotions so openly. Not just because my dad always told me to stop crying (he meant no harm, he just didn’t know any better) but because society has always taught us it’s wrong to be so emotional. In fact, that’s why people are always surprised to see women in positions of power. Whether it’s politics, a CEO, or an airplane pilot, society tells us women are too emotional to be in charge. That’s a load of BS if you ask me. What I once saw as a weakness I now see as a strength. But finding strength in vulnerability was not easy. It took a lot of therapy, hard talks, and a long process of self-acceptance.
Why Finding Strength in Vulnerability Matters
Let’s be real, we all have valuable experiences to share. We’ve all struggled one way or another and the end of the day, we don’t want to feel alone in our struggles. Maybe you’ve struggled with anxiety or body image issues like I have, or maybe you’ve gone through loss and other hardships. There is no right or wrong “struggle,” they’re simply things that we go through that shape us into who we are. However, it’s very rare for us to be the only person to ever go through that. Sure, your situation may have differences from someone else’s, but at the core of that struggle lies lot of similarities. That is exactly why I find that being open about said struggles matters so much.
It’s tough being open about vulnerable situations. As I mentioned above, we’ve been conditioned to believe we shouldn’t be too emotional. However, finding strength in vulnerability is where it’s at. Instead of hiding what we’ve gone through or pretending life is all rainbows and butterflies, we can make a huge difference by being raw and honest. Not only does it allow us to live a more authentic life, it creates genuine connections with others. You might even make a huge impact in someone’s life by letting them know they’re not alone.
When I started opening up about my experiences with anxiety, eating disorders and body image issues I was able to form stronger connections with friends, both virtually and IRL. It allowed me to have more honest conversations about my feelings while staying true to myself.
What’s Next?
So you’re probably thinking “okay Monica that sounds all nice, but how do you make it happen?” Let me be real, finding strength in vulnerability is tough. Opening up when you’re so used to denying your feelings is not easy. If you’re someone who doesn’t struggle with being vulnerable, kudos to you. However, that’s not a common behavior. It all starts by recognizing your struggles and reminding yourself you’re not alone. It’s very much a mental game you need to play until it becomes second nature. And trust me, it easily becomes second nature because the more vulnerable you are, the more you’ll connect with others. When you connect with others and realize you’re really not alone in your struggles, you feel so much more at ease sharing your experiences. Now please note I’m not telling you to share your entire life story. You can if you want to, however that’s not my point. My point is there’s no reason to hide or deny our experiences, even the “negative” ones.
Start by sharing little bits and pieces until you feel comfortable opening up more. I didn’t flat out say “I had an eating disorder because I had an intense need to control my life and it ultimately led to lots of body image issues.” No, I started by saying “I’ve struggled with my self esteem” and “I haven’t always had a healthy relationship with food” until I opened up a bit more about my specific struggles. Don’t force yourself to be open about something you’re not comfortable with just yet. Give yourself time and grace as you navigate being vulnerable.
Just know I am so proud of you and here for you if you ever need me.
