Although I don’t admit it as often as I should, I had an eating disorder for many years. I hated my body, I restricted what I ate, counted calories and let food control me. I had a toxic relationship with food to be honest. But the truth is, it was all my doing. Food wasn’t being mean or rude to me. Heck, food can’t do that! However, I blamed food for anything and everything. All while I desperately tried to find control of my life by attempting to control what I ate. Luckily that’s not the case anymore. If I was able to overcome those feelings, I know you can too which is why I’m sharing 5 ways to improve your relationship with food.
First off, let me start by saying lots of people have an unhealthy relationship with food. If you’re one of them, you’re not alone. I want to make sure you don’t blame yourself for feeling this way and continue feeding into that negativity. Society places these unrealistic expectations of what we should look like, what we should eat, etc. I want you to remove those expectations starting right now (I know, easier said than done) and focus on yourself and how you feel. I want you to tune in to yourself and tell yourself you can have a healthy relationship with food and you will.
1. Improve the Relationship with Yourself to Improve Your Relationship with Food
The reason why I tell you to silence society’s voices and listen to your own is because you must improve the relationship you have with yourself to improve the relationship you have with food. Most of the time when we have an unhealthy relationship with food is because we have an unhealthy relationship with ourselves. Think about it, when someone’s truly at peace with who they are, everything just flows, including food habits. However, if we’re feeling unhappy with ourselves, we might try to “take it out” on food. Whether that’s by eating our feelings or restricting our caloric intake, it’s an easy way to control something when we’re feeling out of control. That’s actually how my eating disorder developed. I felt like everything I wanted was out of my control so I decided to control the thing closest to me: food. Well in case it’s not clear, that’s incredibly unhealthy.
So how do you improve the relationship with yourself? There’s no “one size fits all” for this, but there are a few things to try. Spend more time doing the things you love. Whether that’s painting, baking, or something else, fill up your cup by prioritizing that. Then, make sure you take a mental note on how you feel when you do more of the things you love. That kind of joy is what you need to look for from now on. Additionally, start setting affirmations. Remind yourself you are worthy, you are strong, and you are so loved. Journaling is a great tool as well. It’ll give you the opportunity to connect with your feelings and always make sure you write things you’re grateful for. Having an attitude of gratitude will truly help shift your perspective.
2. Understand that Food is just Food
Food has no feelings. Food has no hidden agenda. It has no moral value and it’s not a negative thing. Society likes to place “good” and “bad” labels to food but really, there is no “bad” food. Sure, some meals may have a higher nutritional value than others but there is no morality associated with food. The sooner you make the conscious decision to see food as, well, food, the better off you’ll be. In fact, I challenge you to take it one step further and see food as fuel. It’s energy after all, and that’s exactly what we need to get us through the day.
So next time you see a meal you’d normally refer to as “bad” I want you to stop yourself. Rewire that thinking and tell yourself “it’s just food and it’s there to give me energy.”
3. Practice Mindful Eating
Mindful eating is not the easiest thing to practice, but boy is it so rewarding. One of the best ways to go about it is to take time to actually sit down and eat. When we eat while watching TV we’re more likely to be distracted and end up over or under eating. Just like you’d make time for your partner to improve your relationship, make time for food. Sit at the dining table, phone away, and focus on enjoying the meal. Really savor every bite and eat slowly. Your brain and stomach will communicate to let you know when you’re full, but they can’t do that too quickly. This will allow your stomach enough time to properly digest and bonus: it will lead to less bloating.
Make sure to eat things that feel good too. If you feel sluggish after eating a big bowl of pasta, consider reducing how often you eat that. However, if you feel energized and ready to take on anything the world throws your way, eat it more often. Listen to your body and feed it what feels best.
4. It’s Not an All-or-Nothing
Life is all about balance. The same goes for food. There’s no reason why we need to restrict our eating because that will most likely lead to binging. The more we tell ourselves we cannot have a burger, the more we’ll want a burger. In order to have a healthy relationship with food we must accept all kinds of food and be able to enjoy them. Just because fries are not as healthy as kale chips does not mean we cannot have fries ever again. Everything in moderation is the key.
5. Leave Comparison Out the Window
Don’t worry about what other people are eating. Whether it’s someone sharing a “what I eat in a day” video or your friends at dinner, don’t worry about how they choose to fuel their bodies. Our bodies are all different and we all have different caloric needs. Just because someone chooses to have a salad for lunch does not mean you can’t enjoy every bite of your pizza. Eat what feels right and what your body is asking for, regardless of what the people around you are eating.
There you have it. I hope that you’re able to heal your relationship with food by applying the above 5 tips. Again, you’re not alone in this struggle but know that you deserve to have a healthy relationship with food. If you ever need anything, feel free to DM me on Instagram!
